The bride is supposed to be perfect on her wedding day. Sometimes this can be quite challenging what with all the stress and long days and nights leading up to the big day. If you want to look great on the day of your wedding, follow these five fail-safe tips and you cannot go wrong.
What Are You Staring At? The first thing a bride must do to look great is to make sure she handles all aspects of her big day, including what the bridesmaids will wear and how they will appear when standing next to her. What is the point of looking your best when the bridesmaids all look even greater? How can you overcome five natural beauties that look elegant and sexy standing next to you in your white gown hidden behind a veil? It is simple. Choose you bridesmaids from amongst the ugliest and plumpest friends you have. Make sure you pick out the dresses and put them into something either purple or bright yellow. (Or both!) This way, it will look like you are standing next to five big canaries or five plump grapes that are half way to raison.
Super Size Me (Can I Have Fries with That?) Everyone knows that the quickest way to a super-sized zit right in the middle of your forehead and/or the very tip of your nose is stress and a trip to a fast food burger joint. Two days before the wedding, take your bridesmaids out to lunch at one of these burger joints and insist that you hold an eating contest. If you have picked out bridesmaids according to the paragraph above, you should have no trouble getting them to eat as much free food as possible. (Remember not to eat any of this yourself) A super-sized portion of greasy French fries with double the bacon, double the processed beef patty, and extra imitation processed cheese (made from oil) will do wonders for your bridesmaid’s complexion and make you look fantastic with all that clear skin.
An Affair to Disremember Make sure that your wedding guests all receive wedding gifts such as photo album favors and wedding cameras fully loaded and with extra rolls in the gift bag. Include a note saying that you want as many pictures of you with your BFF bridesmaids as possible. (You do love them so) Hang out with your raisonette wedding party as much and as often as possible whenever there are cameras pointing your way.
The Bag Lady Sings the Blues The night before your wedding, after sleeping for eight hours during the afternoon, invite all your chubby chums to a bachelorette party. You spring for the drinks but it is important that you pull your waitress off to the side and slip her a fifty dollar bill with instructions to bring your table a round of shots every five minutes until someone passes out and then bring them every three minutes. Tell her to make yours water. On your wedding day, there will be so many bags under their bloodshot eyes that you could transport the leftovers from the buffet table in them.
The End Is Near Do you want to look as graceful as a gazelle? When no one is around, slip into the dressing room and replace those bridesmaids’ six-inch high heel shoes you picked out with a size too small for them and replace the anti-acne clinique with petroleum jelly. At the alter, while they stumble around next to you with their make-up slowly oozing down their chubby little faces, you will be, without any doubt, the most beautiful bride anyone can ever remember.
Aaron Hu has authored on an extensive range of topics related to the wedding industry. If you are looking for wedding cameras, E-WeddingFavors.com has the biggest selection available. You will also find Wedding Shower Favors and much more, all at very affordable prices.
